I Won't Give Up
by taz12335
Summary: Ashley's in the Military, and there is a bombing and Spencer was told her love had died. Thank you for the interest in this story let's see if we can keep it going.
1. Chapter 1

**Hi everyone, I know your use to werewolves and faeries from me, but it you don't mind will you give this story a chance and let me know if I should continue it or just toss it out, I would appreciate it very much.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters of SoN and I mean no disrespect to anyone who live in or are of Eastern decent. I know nothing of the area, so I just made it up as I went. If this offends someone please let me know. Thank you.**

**Disclaimer 2: I got the idea from another book but I changed it around and put in the SoN characters the book is called Montana Secrets, I don't it nor am I making any money off of it.**

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**I Won't Give Up**

**Chapter 1**

Lt. Ashley Davies was sitting at her desk rubbing her eyes with the palm of her hand. She'd been working non-stop trying to get everything ready for the next Lt. To take her place. She had been stationed in Salalah in the Middle East for over fourteen months now. Salalah was an amazing coastal city. On one side of the city was the Arabian Sea and on the other there was nothing but endless desert.

As much as she enjoyed her job, she was beyond excited to be going home to finish her time in the military. No if Ashley was being truthful, her excitement was because she would be returning home to her fiance's. Ashley sighed, there was so much work to be done, but the view from her fourth story office had her mesmerized. The view of the boundless Arabian Sea would have anyone captivated, but with its expanse as still as glass and its color a deep penetrating blue, it reminded her of Spencer's eyes.

Ashley smiled to herself at the memory of the devilish sparkle in her intended's baby blues. It was one of the qualities she'd noted the first time she met her some six years ago in the summer before her senior year of high school.

She was invited to spend the end of the summer at her best friend's family ranch in Ohio. Glen had stuck beside her through thick and thin causing them to become inseparable. That was the time that she met Spencer, Glen's baby sister. That summer she remembered Spencer following her and Glen around like a lost little puppy. At the time it was considered to be a major pain in the ass, after all Ashley was going to be a senior, she didn't have time to babysit a tag along, especially someone who was going to be a _freshman_ in high school. Her and Glen avoided Spencer as much as possible, but Spencer soon retaliated by placing horse manure in her shoes and somehow getting the Carlin's roaster into her room. To this day Ashley never understood how Spencer accomplished this, it had taken her the afternoon with the help of Glen, a sheet and a very skillful tackle to remove him.

Too soon the summer ended, and Ashley went in to senior year with Glen wondering what to do with her life. They had decided after graduation they would attend cadet school with the hope of doing something good with their lives. As time went by, both were commissioned into the Marines. Ashley was invited once again to spend the summer at the Carlin ranch. A lot changed that summer, especially Ashley's perception of Spencer. She noticed that the gangly teenager she once knew wasn't so gangly anymore. Spencer was a willowy young woman with long blond hair, endless legs, and a beautifully sculpted face. The only trace of the pesky little kid was the teasing gleam in her gorgeous blue eyes.

Ashley was blindsided by Spencer's transformation and had fallen in love. She didn't know if she had ignored her or had taken for granted who Spencer truly was. It wasn't just Spencer's beauty, but her wonderful qualities as well. Her warm personality, her sense of humor, her intellect and her loyalty to her family and friends. She had stopped calling her The Pest, in her defense; Glen came up with the nickname. Instead she dubbed her Kalila, an Arabic name meaning 'Dearly Loved.'

That was two years ago that she was struck by the love bug. She knew that as soon as her current tour of duty was over, some agonizingly long eight months and a few days, she'd see her beautiful Kalila again. No, not only see her but marry her on the spot. She was ready, and would gladly shuck military life to spend the rest of days with Spencer by her side. Finally she would leave her current chain of command to follow her heart's desire.

It was on her last leave that she realized the military was a poor substitute for fulfilling her dreams, having a home, a family of her own. Ashley chose the military after her father died in a fiery car accident off a San Diego highway, he was high on drugs at the time. He had his flaws and his own demons but he was the only parent that wanted anything to do with her. Her mother hated her guts from the moment she came out of the closet in High School. She had lost so much back then and only Glen stuck by her side and became her best and only friend. They had made a pact to join up together, so they did at the end of graduation.

Stuck in deep thoughts looking out the window Ashley realizes it's time to stop hiding. Hiding who she really is and who she really loves. Her father, accepted her for who she was and now it was time for her and the world to accept her for the real Ashley Davies.

Ashley turned from the window as Glen stepped into the office from the adjoining room.

As it had happened, after they graduated from cadet school, they were assigned to the same unit of Marines that guarded the embassy, but in reality they were the crack shot duo of counter terrorists under orders from the Pentagon to locate and identify anti-nationalist terrorists who threatened not only the American interest, but Prince Beraka Yama Hasied, the sovereign ruler of Salalah.

The office they were in appeared to be a regular office to anyone that walked in, but in reality it was their base of operations. Only herself, Glen, and their commanding officer knew about the high tech equipment behind the false wall, and the secret passage way, that they could exit and enter the building unobserved by.

Glen was dressed in the flowing robes of the Salalah men, with his deeply tanned skin, and only the sun glasses he wore covered his baby blue eyes that looked so much like his sisters.

"Sneaking out to see that belly dancer from last night?" Ashley asked. "What was her name? Fiat, Fatamina...I can't seem to remember."

"Farzonna." He said as he shook his head with a rueful grin, "What a woman, but no duty calls. Our suspects on the move."

"Bradley?" She asked as she raised her eye brows. "How do you know?"

"Heard him telling his buddies while he was in the cafeteria. He has the afternoon off and plans to spend it shopping in the bazaar. I'm tailing him to see if he meets up with his terrorist friend. If he does we'll know for sure that Bradley is our man."

"I'll come and watch your back." She offered.

"No thanks, this will just be routine surveillance. You can stay here and finish the dirty work." He smirked as he nodded towards the documents on her desk.

Ashley groaned at the stack then turned back to Glen and said hopefully. "Call if you need anything, anything at all."

"Shouldn't be any problems." He said as he reached for one of the drawers and pulled out a cell phone. He shoved it into his pocket beneath his robes and slipped out the secret passageway.

Ashley turned back to the paperwork on her desk, she so wasn't in the mood to fill them out, but it had to be done. Herself and Glen were responsible for all the sensitive documents related to military or classified documents in the Salalah area. The work would take the rest of the afternoon to finish, and it wouldn't get done with her starring at it. Ashley took the first document and looked over it. It was the arms agreement between the United States and the Salalah government. With a deep sigh she began typing it into the computer.

About an hour or so later she stood up and stretched out her back and rolled her shoulders and neck. She was craving coffee and decided to run down to the cafeteria to get some. If she was lucky they would have some little cakes as well.

Ashley was halfway to the door when the phone rang on her desk. With a curse she picked up the phone. Before she could say anything Glen shouted into the phone.

"**There's a bomb in the embassy!"**

"Are you sure?" She asked. This was what they worked so hard to avoid, especially since the U.S. Embassies seemed to make such a tempting target for terrorists.

"Our suspect told his contact that the explosives were in place and that they would explode at anytime. The Prince is visiting the commander and you need to get him out of there."

She didn't have time to argue, She had to get them both to safety. Ashley was told the Prince's death would create an international incident, and would affect their relations with the other Arabian states.

"On it." She shouted as she dropped the phone into place and called the Unit Commander on duty to start the emergency evacuation procedures. Quickly repeating the call, she hung up the phone abruptly and took off down the hall to the Embassy commander's office . Running past the elevator she headed to the stairwell, taking them two and three at a time until coming to the ground level. She burst thru the doors and ran along the hall way toward the office. Outside the Embassy Commander's door stood four guys, two marines who saluted at her approach, and two who stirred uneasily and wore the native garb of the region, _'Must be the Prince's body guards.'_

She ignored them as she slammed thru the doors and shouted **"Code Red!"**

The commander's face paled as he stood "Has everyone else been notified?"

"Yes sir."

"What is happening?" The prince asked worriedly and glared at Ashley.

"No time to explain, I need to get you out of here." She said as she ushered him out the door only to be met by both of his men with their guns drawn and pointed right at her head.

The two marines drew their weapons as well and pointed them towards the guards.

"Put those away." She ordered and they did. The prince waved his hand and said something in Arabic and his guards did the same. She shut the doors behind them and they started to make their way to the garage, she was hoping to get him in his car and out of there as quickly as possible. As they were making their way down the hallway the entire building shook.

Ashley flung herself at the Prince and pushed him to the floor as she covered his body with her's, just as the hallway started to crumble around them. A flash fire blinded her, as rubble fell on top of them. Something heavy landed on her back as she tasted blood in her mouth. She tried once again to push up, but she couldn't breath as something else crashed into her head and she could feel a stickiness dripping down the side of her face. When a falling beam fell and caught her between the shoulder blades and knocked her completely flat to the floor. She thought, _'Won't have to look for that bomb, looks like it found me.'_

With every nerve ending screaming in pain she drifted into sweet oblivion.

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**Well here's my new offering let me know what you think and please take the time to review.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer1: I don't own SoN or it's characters.**

**Disclaimer2: You guys should thank idwalkthrufire4u for this offering as she helped a lot with this story. If it wasn't for her this would be a completely different story.**

**Disclaimer3: The story idea started off from a book called Montana's Secrets, and it evolved from there. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to get this out there, but know it may take some time as I am writing this as I post, and making corrections on the go. So Please enjoy and review.**

I Won't Give Up

ch.2

_Three Years Later_

Buttoning her jacket against the cold evening air, Spencer Carlin stepped outside onto the front porch of her ranch house. She stared out over the snow encompassed yard towards the horse pen.

Although the air was cool she could tell by the angle of the sun that summer was fast approaching. Wrapping her hands around her cup of hot cocoa she settled herself onto the porch swing and rocked herself back and fourth, and lost her self to the memories.

She missed Ashley.

Spencer always missed Ashley, but somehow in the summer she missed her more. That would be when her pain would transform into a sharp, unbearable ache, and everything she looked at would remind her of her lost love.

Instead of focusing on the cattle grazing or the stream that parted the ranch, she would see Ashley chasing her or Ashley sunbathing by the stream. Her crinkle nose smile or the teasing glint in her eyes. Her arms opened wide waiting to engulf her in a bone warming hug, or a toe curling kiss. Her deep rich voice as she sang to her.

She smiled at the recollection as she remembered that Ashley hadn't always been glad to see her.

She remembered when Glen brought Ashley here the first summer when she was fifteen, Ashley had followed her brother's lead and yanked playfully at her hair and called her the littlest Pest. Spencer, on the other hand, had been smitten from the moment they had met. She'd always thought Glen hung the moon, but Ashley had been the perfect manifestation of all her adolescent fantasies. Ashley, however, seemed unaware that she even existed.

Not that she was ever mean or rude. Her good manners always made her the perfect guest. She arrived with either books or candies and a bottle of Dr. Pepper in hand for her, flowers for her mother and a fine wine for her father every time she came to the ranch. Ashley always insisted on helping her and her mother in washing the dishes after their meals.

"You don't have to do this." she protested but Ashley entered the kitchen, picked up a dish towel and began drying the dishes and putting them away. "You're a guest, you shouldn't have to do this."

Her hand grazed Spencer's when she passed her a plate, and the unexpected contact had sent her teenage heart a flutter. She turned quickly away to hide her blushing cheeks.

Ashley talked constantly as they worked. Her curiosity about the way of life on the ranch seemed to be bottomless.

"What's a gelding?" she asked or "What kind of feed do you feed them?"

She'd posed a lot of questions about the ranch, but none about her. Spencer had soon accepted that Ashley didn't think of her as a girl, much less a woman. When she wasn't teasing her or helping out in the kitchen, she'd treated her as if she were a tree, and not a very interesting one at that.

Why would she notice her after all, that was what she was a tree, a twig to be more precise. There was nothing special about her. She never bothered with how she looked. And she'd been too tongue tied with longing to talk wittily with her gorgeous visitor.

Until the summer right before she turned eighteen.

Before Ashley and Glen arrived to spend their leave on the ranch before being posted over seas. She'd carefully planned her trap so to speak. Ashley hadn't visited the ranch in over a year, and in that time Spencer had learned to show off her best features. Choosing well cut and properly fitted clothes instead of wearing Glen's hand me downs.

She had her hair trimmed to just below the shoulder blades and learned to apply her makeup which brought out her baby blue eyes. She wore heels and shorts that showed off her long legs that use to be covered up by jeans. She paced until she heard Ashley and Glen arrive at the ranch.

She usually waited on the front porch when her brother was suppose to come and visit, and then would run down the path and launch herself at her brother for a big bear hug, but that day she held back until she heard them walk into the house. She took a deep breath and made her way into the living room.

When Glen spotted her, his jaw dropped and his eyes widened. "Who are you, and what have you done with the Littlest Pest?" he asked as Ashley dropped her bag to the floor and crossed her arms and leaned up against the wall, her expression serious as she looked Spencer up and down. "Looks like your little sister is all grown up now, sport."

She reveled in the approval in Ashley's voice but said nothing, afraid she'd spoil the effect she worked so hard to create.

"Man, oh man." Glen said in disbelief. "If I'd known you'd turn into such a hot number Pest, I'd never have brought this lady killer into the house." He finished by poking Ashley in the stomach.

"Lady Killer?" My mother asked as she walked into the living room with a tray of drinks, but left before she got an answer. Spencer experienced a moment of panic thinking Ashley may already have a girlfriend. Fixing her eyes on Ashley she waited for Glen to answer their mother's question.

"Yeah, the women are wild about her," Glen explained with a fraternal grin that made her tingle with happiness to have her brother home again. "Everywhere we go, women are always throwing themselves at her. Most of the time I've had to sacrifice myself and take the women off her hands."

"Sacrifice?" Ashley asked with a rueful grin. "So is that what you're calling it now."

Glen shrugged. "You never seemed interested in any of the female attention. I was just trying to save you the hassle."

Ashley stared at Spencer and it made her blush. "I think," she said in a languid tone, "my interest has just been piqued."

Spencer was doing a little jig on the inside as she spoke. "I'm sure plenty of girls will be happy to hear that at the dance tonight."

"What dance?" Glen asked.

"How could you forget about the yearly dance Glen?" Spencer asked with shock.

Glen turned towards Ashley, "The musics kind of hokey, but the foods always good. Want to go?"

"If you guys are too tired I'm sure everyone would understand." Spencer said. "I could heat up the left over casserole for you if you like?"

She held her breath, waiting for their reply. She was dying to dance with Ashley, to feel her arms around her, to talk to her alone without Glen around.

"I don't know about you sport," Ashley began, "but I think you'll be taking a chance letting Spencer go alone looking like that. She'll need the Marines to keep all the locales at bay."

"You could be right." Glen agreed.

Ashley nodded. "We'll have to volunteer."

_Yes! _Spencer was trying to remain perfectly still less she give her excitement away. The last thing she wanted was to scare Ashley away by seeming to eager.

"Do you have a date?" Ashley asked, catching her by surprise.

Her earlier panic returned tenfold. Would she think she was a nobody if she said no.

Glen jumped to her rescue. "Nobody brings a date to the dance. Everybody just shows up and has a good time."

Less then an hour later, Spencer was sandwiched between Ashley and Glen on the front seat of Glen's truck headed to the dance. Ashley was holding one of the pies that Spencer made for the dinner before. When the road curved she slid towards Ashley grazing her thigh with her own, and relishing in the warmth of said contact, making her even more aware of her attraction towards Ashley.

Ashley didn't seem to mind the grazing of their thighs as she seemed to crave it just as much if not more than Spencer did.

When they arrived at the dance it was bustling with young people and they all seemed to take notice of the two marines still dressed in their uniforms. They gathered around and welcomed Glen back home and asked questions of his training. Not much later a slow song started up and Ashley excused herself from the crowd and made her way over to Spencer, who was sitting down at a table by the stage talking to some other girls. Ashley stopped by her table and asked if she would like to dance. Spencer stood and slipped into her arms and they molded perfectly together as if they were made for one another.

Ashley danced like a dream come true for Spencer, with her hand at the small of her back she guided her across the dance floor as if they had been dancing together their whole lives. "Glen says you graduate from High School next June. Any plans after that?" Ashley asked.

"I'm planning on going to college and taking some filming classes, or history. I would like to either direct or teach, or both..." Spencer replied

"History?" Ashley groaned. "I hated history in High School."

"Well then you didn't have the right teacher."

Ashley's killer smile returned. "If my teacher had looked like you, I'm sure I would have paid more attention."

"More attention to the the subject, or the teacher?" Spencer asked with a raised eyebrow and a smirk of her own.

"You got me." Ashley said with a nose crinkling smile.

Spencer's cheeks turned red at the compliment and she couldn't stop it no matter what so she turned away.

"I always hated having to memorize dates, names, and places of old events that never kept my interest in the first place. Why would you be interested in a boring subject like History?"

"But don't you see, History isn't boring at all," she said as her eyes lit up, "It's much more then dates, names, and places. I think the most important lesson we learn from history is how our choices have consequences, whether they are made by individual's or whole countries. I believe that students need to understand the importance of cause and effect, to realize that we as a people have control over our lives, that history isn't events that happened randomly, but that it's a result of a previous decision, either made rashly in fear or with much consideration." she finished.

Ashley smiled at Spencer

"What's so funny?" She demanded.

"Not funny, just amazing, all this time I thought you didn't care about anything but your horses, and here you are a closeted philosopher."

Spencer scowled. "You make me sound ancient and stuffy."

Ashley leaned back and studied her with a look that made her pulse race. "There is absolutely nothing ancient or stuffy about you in the least." she said as she looked into Spencer's eyes. "You are something much, much better." she finished in her husky undertone.

Spencer flustered once again, suggested that they get some fresh air which Ashley eagerly agreed. Ashley twirled Spencer towards the doorway where a cool breeze drifted in and helped very little with the heat. As she released Spencer from her arms she placed the palm of her hand at the small of her back to guide her out the double doors.

The park had been cleared and all the tables put up, and the sun had set leaving them in darkness except for a string of lights placed around the pavilion by the pond. She threaded her fingers with Spencer's and led her to a bench in said pavilion, and settled down beside her.

Spencer's plan to be alone with Ashley worked perfectly, she was happy that they were alone in this cozy somewhat secluded spot, but all she could think of was Ashley's departure in a few short days to parts unknown to her.

"Why did you join the Marines?" she asked

Ashley leaned back on the bench and stretched her legs out in front of her. "I have no family, well none that count, so I consider Glen my family." here she took a breath. "And well we made a pact to join up together. The Corps gave me someplace to belong and in the process it became my family."

"No family." Spencer couldn't imagine life without her family. "No uncles or aunts?" she asked

Ashley shook her head. "No family that I know of except Christine, and she doesn't count, seeing as she abandoned me long ago. My father was my only family and he was all that I needed." Ashley finished as she stood up and paced around the pavilion. "He accepted me for who and what I am."

"And what is that, a werewolf?" Spencer asked with a raised eyebrow as she stood up and ran her arm over the patch on Ashley's military jacket, it was of a caged werewolf.

Ashley growled playfully and then burst out laughing a pleasant throaty laugh. "Thanks," she said, "I needed that."

Spencer's heart went out to the woman in front of her. She couldn't even begin to imagine life without her mother, father, and Glen. How did someone so special as Ashley manage it alone. "How do you manage?" she asked before she could stop herself.

"I became a delinquent." Ashley replied with a smirk. "I was tough, and angry. I took out my frustrations and unhappiness on everyone and everything around me."

"But you're not like that now. What changed you?" Spencer asked with curiosity.

"Glen Carlin." was the reply

"How did he change you?" Spencer asked a little resentful thinking her brother and Ashley must have hooked up at one time.

"When I was at my worse, heavily into to drugs all my friends abandoned me when they couldn't get what they wanted anymore, namely money. There was this new blond headed kid who always made sure I got home safe and cleaned up. He wouldn't take any of my grief and he wouldn't let anyone else mess with me when I was down. He wouldn't take money as a matter of fact he threw it back into my face, I even offered him drugs and he looked like I had slapped him." Ashley was lost in thought as she continued. "I couldn't believe that somebody would refuse all this, but he did, and he stuck by me through it all. He said he knew what I was going through. Ha, I laughed at him until he continued he might not have lost a parent but he had experience with the drugs. He could help if I let him, he told me I didn't have anything to lose and if I continued the way I was going I would be dead. I was already as low as I thought I could go, so I agreed. That was when he introduced me to his father and mother. Both wonderful people. His mother helped with my drug habit and his father helped with my head. It was a long battle but with him and his family, even the 'Littlest Pest'," she said with a nose crinkling smile. "I learned what the word family meant and I wanted that for myself. I believe Glen saved my life that day, because I wouldn't be here if he had just walked away. So you see that's how he changed me. He made me want to be alive and a better person." Ashley finished.

Spencer had tears in her eyes as she said, "I always knew he was a wonderful caring brother, and I'm glad to see he turned out to be such a wonderful caring human being as well."

Ashley nodded her head, "I'm a walking, living, breathing example of what type of person your brother turned out to be." she finished as she wrapped her arm around Spencer's shoulders. "You're a good listener. How come I've never noticed that about you before?"

"You've never really talked to me like this before." Spencer's breath caught in her throat as Ashley leaned forward as Spencer closed her eyes in anticipation of what was to come.

"There you are, Spencer Carlin." a coarse slurring voice called out. "I" hiccup, "been looking all over for you."

Startled, Spencer opened her eyes as Ashley withdrew her arm and glanced at the tall figure leering down at them, with an empty bottle of beer dangling between his limp fingers. Her heart sank when she recognized Aiden Dennison, an old classmate of Glen's and Ashley's, who had graduated from being class bully to town menace. He was a tall no neck, full of muscles asshole, with beady black eyes. Aiden was trouble made in the flesh.

"Why were you looking for me?" Spencer asked, unable to keep the irritation from her voice.

"I was watching you inside," Aiden said with a sneer. "For a skinny for nothing kid you filled out real good, real good indeed." he said as he looked her up and down. "Come on back inside and dance with me."

"I've had enough of dancing, thank you." Spencer hoped he would just leave.

"Not until you dance with me." He said as he took a step forward.

"She said no." Ashley said in a soft yet deadly voice.

Aiden turned his head and glared at Ashley. "Who was asking you, you damn queer. Are you trying to make our girls like you?" he said as he continued to glare. "We'll see about that." He finished as he lunged towards Spencer.

With a move so fast that if she blinked she'd have missed it, Ashley sprung between them and twisted Aiden's arm behind his back.

The bully winced in pain. "Lemme go and I'll whoop your ass."

"You're drunk." Ashley said as she released him and pushed him away. "Go home and sleep it off."

"Nobody tells me what to do." With a fierce growl, he lunged forward and swung the beer bottle at a support beam and shattered the beer bottle and used the jagged top as a weapon to threaten Ashley with.

Spencer stifled a scream, her first instinct was to run for help, but Aiden stood between her and the exit of the pavilion.

"Don't worry," Ashley's voice was calm. "Stay out of the way, I'll take care of this.

Spencer's heart beat rapidly as Aiden stood over Ashley by a good foot and outweighed her by a good hundred or so pounds. From what Spencer remembered, Aiden fought dirty. Plenty of men in the area bore the scars of Aiden's wrath.

With a howl of rage Aiden charged, but Ashley just stepped to the side and Aiden plowed face first into a pole. He straightened for just a moment and shook his head as if to clear it, then crashed to the floor in a heap.

"We'd better call the paramedics." Ashley said. "He probably has a concussion."

Ashley had won the fight without even throwing a punch. Spencer moved to her side grateful for her quick thinking, but slightly disappointed that she didn't get to see Ashley in action. As it was Aiden had destroyed her perfect plan to get Ashley alone.

Ashley seemed to know her thoughts. "Don't let that scum spoil your thoughts." She said and before Spencer knew what was happening she was in Ashley's arms. Her kiss had been gentle, but filled with such sweet promise of more to come. "I wasn't." Ashley husked out as she pulled away.

Before Ashley's leave was over, she made good on those promises.

Spencer treasured that last leave with Ashley.

Spencer closed her eyes in a silent prayer of thanks

Stiff from sitting in the swing so long Spencer stretched and tugged her jacket tighter around her. She'd never forget those special weeks that she and Ashley spent together before her first tour of duty, especially the first time that they had made love.

Gears grinding together somewhere shook her out of her trance. It was an old truck and she resented it for pulling her out of her memories of Ashley. She didn't recognize it as it pulled to a stop, and the driver stepped out . Even in the dusk of twilight she could make out the huge man's threatening silhouette, it was Aiden Dennison.

She shivered as he was the last person she wanted to see.

"Hello, Aiden," she called as he swaggered over towards her. "What are you doing back from Columbus? I heard you were working down there the last few years."

He grinned, teeth gleaming in the porch light.

"Jobs finished. I've come home to do some ranch work for the summer." he said

At the porch he stopped and removed his hat. His eyes small and beady, but at least they looked clear. He didn't act drunk, but with Aiden, it was hard to know. He was infamous for his hostile moods, and unpredictable behavior, and he could hold his liquor.

"Good to see you again, Spencer."

"If you've come to visit dad, I'll get him." she started into the house but Aiden's response stopped her.

"Don't bother. It's you I was looking for."

"Why?" Spencer asked as a chill ran up her spine.

"It's been a good few years since your so called fiance was killed. Figured you might be ready to go out with a real man." he said as he stood up straighter almost as if he was going to pound his chest with his fist.

Spencer stopped a shudder from running through her body as she replied. "I don't think so."

"We can drive over to the ferry, have us a nice steak dinner and a few beers. Maybe dance a bit, kick up our heels so to speak. Surly you're ready to move on with a real man and not someone playing at being one. Your daddy can even watch that damn kid of yours."

His attitude was the same mix of arrogance, conceit, bigotry, and insensitivity for which he always had been famous for, and Spencer struggled to keep her temper in check at his crudeness. She forced a smile then replied, "Well, I guess you made a wasted trip then. I've already ate, and I have work tomorrow."

Aiden's face twisted into a snarl, "So the rumors are true."

"What rumors?" Spencer asked confusedly.

"That you're dating the High School Principle, that woman Kyla."

"Aiden, you shouldn't believe everything you hear, as my daddy always says, and believe only half what you see."

He started towards her aggressively and stopped right in front of her when she hit the wall of the house and had nowhere else to go. He leaned menacingly forward, and Spencer was hit hard with the smell of alcohol on his breath.

"You bitch, you think you're better than me? Why I ought to show you what a real man can do." He finished and then quickly stiffened when he heard the pump action of her fathers 12 gauge shot gun through the screen door.

"Hello, Aiden." Arthur said as Aiden straightened up and took a step back.

"Hi, Mr. Carlin, nice to see you again." Aiden said without taking his eyes off Spencer.

"What can I help you with?" Spencer's father asked as he stepped out the door and pointed the shot gun at Aiden. Paula stayed inside the screen porch with a little girl in her arms.

"Just came up to see if Spencer wanted to go to a dance and dinner with me." he said

"Well, I heard her say no. So what are you still waiting for?"

"Nothing, I was just leaving."

"Good."

"I'll be seeing you around." Aiden sneered at Spencer.

"I don't think so." Spencer said as she stepped over to her father's side.

Aiden took a step forward, but Arthur stopped him with a poke to his stomach with the shot gun.

"It's time for you to leave son." he said.

"Yes, sir." Aiden snapped before turning around and storming down the steps to his truck. He nearly tore the door off the hinges and climbed in slamming the door closed. He started his truck while glaring at Spencer and revved up the engine before spinning his tires and peeling down the long driveway.

Spencer turned towards her father and noticed all the gray in his hair and the weathered lines in his face. He had been working the ranch the last three years with just her mother and her and it was a lot on him. She feared that if it wasn't for her and her daughter being around, she would have lost him long ago.

Even as she thought this she couldn't help but think what would have become of her and her daughter without her parents. Even with the dangers of Ashley's job and the unpredictability, they always wanted to get married and start a family as soon as possible. Before Ashley left for her tour of duty they had gone down to the clinic and had Ashley's eggs harvested, and fertilized and then Spencer had been implanted so that the child would be both of theirs. A few days after she had found out Ashley had died she was surprised to learn that she was pregnant. It was both a blessing and a curse knowing she would have a little piece of Ashley, but she would be reminded of what she lost. The pregnancy was hard but her parents were nothing but loving and supportive. Spencer sighed and stared at her daughter in Paula's arms. What she wouldn't give to see Ashley one more time.

**#########################################**

**There it is, please review and let me know what you think.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I don't own SoN or it's character's, just borrowing them for awhile...This is loosely based off a book I read called Montana's Lost Love...so I don't own that either. But I did change it around a lot. Hope you enjoy. **

**Thanks sweetie for helping me out with this one...**

I Won't Give Up ch.3

Sansa, woke up in a panic, sweat covering her whole body. It was the same dream over and over. She was always just out of reach of something or someone that she cared about, and right before she could reach it she'd wake up, always with an urgency that she had to be somewhere, but with no idea where.

She rolled back over and tried to go back to sleep, but it was useless and she knew it. The prince was to be up soon and she needed to be ready. He had a meeting at the US ambassadors and she was to be his date. She snickered at that idea. In actuality she was his personal body guard and had been for the last two years that she knew of.

Sansa's memories were foggy and she could only recall the last three years clearly. The first of her memories, was waking up in a total pitch black place with no lights and loud noises surrounding her. She didn't know what they were at first until she made out voices, and felt someone holding her down telling her to calm down. She didn't even realize she was fighting to get up until then. Just as she started to relax, she jumped and panicked when she felt someone messing with her face and was blinded by bright lights. She tried to shield her eyes from the onslaught of light, only for another brighter light to be shoved in her face. She snarled and yanked the flashlight from the strangers hand and said between clenched teeth.

"If you don't want that shoved where the sun don't shine get it out of my face."

The man standing in front of her looked at her in total confusion until she realized she had spoken in a different tongue then they had. She tried again and again, but he continued to look at her in confusion. Finally she stopped and concentrated on what she wanted to say. It flowed from her as if it was her native tongue.

The man dropped the flashlight and took a quick step back. That was when she heard a snicker on the other side of the bed. She whipped her head in that direction and there beside the bed stood a rather good looking man with a smirk on his face, between two hulking men. He came up to her and introduced himself as well as the two big guys on either side of him.

He told her he was the prince of Salalah and she had been in an induced coma to give her body time to heal.

"How long?" she rasped out.

"For quite sometime." The Prince replied, Sansa just glared at him with her furrowed brow.

He smiled as he patted her on the arm. "Never could get anything past you," he replied "A little over three months." He said as he continued to look her in the eyes as if waiting for her to question him.

She tried to think if any of this seemed familiar, if she could remember what had happened or who she was, but all it caused was excruciating pain to her head. That was when the doctor stepped up to her and asked if she could remember her name.

She tried to think but again the excruciating pain came.

"No." she rasped out

"Do you know what year it is?" The doctor asked.

Again the pain, "No."

"Do you know where you are at?" he asked

"Hospital." she replied and no pain followed.

"Yes, yes very good." said the doctor as he wrote something down on his chart.

Sansa had started to shake and get upset over not remembering anything when the Prince stepped up to her again and told her that her name was Sansa, and she was his personal body guard. As a matter of fact that was how she ended up in the hospital in the first place. She had saved his live, but had nearly lost hers in the process.

"What happened?" She asked

"A bomb." He replied. "Caused a ceiling to collapse on top of you and you covered me with your own body." He said as he switched the weight from one leg to another and a fleeting look of pain passed over his face.

"Are you all right?" She asked.

"Yes," he replied, "just a reminder of that day."

She looked at him confusedly.

He smiled and continued as he gestured to her body up and down and cleared his throat. "You being of such short..." he glanced at her face as she growled. "Ummm, and one being so tall..." he said as he pointed at himself as she growled again. He continued, "Needless to say my foot was crushed and they couldn't fix it 100% , so now I have a limp."

Sansa's face dropped as if she had failed him some how.

"No...no little one. You did not fail. You saved my life. We were the only ones to come out under that ceiling alive, even if just barely." he finished

That was a little over three years ago. Sansa pushed back the covers and plodded to the shower stopping to stare at the complete stranger starring back at her in the mirror. She wasn't horribly disfigured. She had high cheekbones. Her nose was straight to perfection, and her hair was unruly and long reaching to the middle of her back. Her eyes were the only thing slightly familiar to her as they were a greenish brown.

She shook her head as if to clear the cobwebs and turned on the hot water in the shower. She stretched and took off her panties then her t-shirt as she stepped into the shower soaping herself up. She closed her eyes enjoying the feel of her hands gliding over her body, when all of a sudden she saw a pair of sparkling blue eyes right in front of her. She snapped her eyes open and slipped backwards against the shower wall hitting her head. She reached her hand back and felt the lump that was starting to form. She quickly looked around to see if any one was there, but she didn't see anyone or hear anyone moving around in the bathroom. She straightened up, took a couple of deep breaths, and shook her head to clear it. It wasn't that she was afraid, she just didn't want the pain to follow as she tried to remember who those eyes belonged to. She rinsed off the soap and stepped out of the shower. She couldn't seem to stop seeing those eyes. They looked so sad and lost. She had been seeing those eyes for as long as she could remember, but lately she had been seeing them less and less. One day she hoped to know what they meant before she stopped seeing them completely.

When she was going through rehabilitation at the hospital she tried to force herself to remember, but the pain was so intense that it caused her to shut down completely. One time it was so bad that she blacked out and woke up in the hospital bed a week later. No one could explain why she experienced such intense pain or why she couldn't remember but the doctors told her she would remember in her own time.

Since then she stopped trying to force it, but those blue eyes always flashed in her minds eye. Sometimes happy, sometimes sad, but recently when she saw them they looked so lost. No matter what she did she couldn't remember and she came to the conclusion there was nothing she could do. She sighed as she quickly got dressed and headed out of her room. She stopped in the hallway and tilted her head to a guard standing in front of the Prince's room, which was across from hers. She made a hand gesture and he nodded his head. It seemed the prince had a gentleman caller last night and they were sleeping in.

Sansa made her way towards the kitchen and was met by the cook piling the table with food.

"Sit." She was ordered and she sat.

"Eat." She didn't waste any time shoving the food in her mouth.

"Mmmm, so good." She moaned as a hot cup of coffee was placed in front of her. She took a sip as she starred at the matronly woman standing across from her.

"Stop inhaling your food."

Sansa sat up straight with a smile on her face, just then the kitchen doors swung open and in came Yama, the Prince. He sat down across from Sansa, with one of his guards taking a seat next to him while the other sat next to Sansa.

"If I don't inhale, I won't get any food." she smirked as she looked around the table as the guys started reaching for the food and piling it on their plates. They started elbowing each other to get the last piece of bacon. The cook snickered as she went back to the stove to get another plate of bacon to set down on the table. As she walked over to the sink she through over her shoulder. "Someone would think you people hadn't eaten in a long time."

Sansa looked around the table and they all started laughing.

"Children..." smirked the cook

"Nani.." Sansa said as the old woman passed by, she ruffled her hair with affection. The old woman had taken Sansa under her wing and made her feel a part of the family.

It was a bond that Sansa needed to keep her grounded. Sansa stopped chewing her food and looked at the retreating form, _'Who is looking for me?' _she thought, and she felt a twinge in the back of her head, so she changed her train thought to the day she had ahead of her.

She straightened up and asked, "Anything I need to be made aware of?"

Prince Yama straightened up and replied, "Nothing out of the ordinary, just resuming some talks with the United States."

"Ah," Sansa said as she stood up and wiped her mouth. "I'll go and get ready then." She said as she left the kitchen.

"Is it wise to take her with you?" asked the old cook

"If she hasn't remembered in this long, I doubt she'll remember today." he said, "Besides it's not like we'll be running into anyone she knows. The Americans have a huge turn over rate, and I don't even know the name of the General we will be meeting." He wiped his mouth and put his napkin down. "This treaty with the Americans is too important to just miss."

"Who said anything about missing this meeting?" the cook asked, "I just asked if you should take her with you?"

"Do you honestly believe she would let me leave without her?"

A couple of hours later Sansa and the Prince were walking into the US Embassy arm in arm.

Sansa looked around and spotted all the military personnel standing around the waiting area. Suddenly she noticed someone coming in and everyone was snapping to attention and saluting this individual. _'Must be their commanding officer.'_ she thought. She stumbled as another scene played out in her head, someone was standing in front of her and they were saluting her. She was brought out of her thoughts when the Prince whispered in her ear.

"Sansa, are you alright?" he asked with concern.

She shook her head to clear it.

"Yes." she said

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"Nothing, tripped over my own two feet." She said as the person at the desk asked them their names and if they knew who they were seeing. The Prince explained who they were and why they were here. They were escorted into a conference room and asked if they would like anything to drink. They both declined.

A few minutes later in walked a military man highly decorated with his head down filling out some paperwork on a clip board. Behind him was what looked like his secretary trying to keep up with him. He stopped at the head of the table and looked up. His eyes widened slightly when he spotted Sansa but otherwise passed over her with little interest. "Prince Beraka Yama Hasied, so nice to see you again." he said as he shook the Prince's hand.

"Ah, as it is also nice to see you my old friend, and didn't I tell you to call me Beraka, or Yama?" asked the Prince before continuing, "I wasn't expecting to see you here again."

The General moved towards Sansa to shake her hand, "And you would be?" he asked

Sansa went stiff as images started going through her mind, until she lurched forward and grabbed the edge of the table. She would have collapsed unconscious to the floor, if it wasn't for the Prince and the General, who both jumped forward and caught her, one on each arm.

"This isn't going to be pretty, is it?" The general asked no one in particular.

Ashley awoke pissed off as she looked around the room she was in. She was laying down on a couch in small room. At first she thought she was in her office and that she must have been dreaming, and Glen would come rushing through the door at any second and tell her he was going out. She continued to stare at the door willing it to open but nothing happened, she shook her head and that was when she remembered everything. She swung her legs over the side of the couch and sat up, and rubbed her face with the palm of her hands. She looked around, but didn't recognize anything, that was when she noticed a door off to the side of the room. It was cracked open slightly and she heard voices.

An infuriated Ashley Davies burst into the General's office, slamming the door shut behind her, and stormed up to the officer's desk.

"Why the hell didn't you tell me!?" she shouted.

The General was cool under fire, every inch the military man from his pressed suit to his buzz haircut. He motioned her to a chair, "Have a seat, Sansa, and calm down."

Ashley gripped the front edge of the desk and leaned forward towards the General, eyes flashing fire, face flushed with anger. "My name is not Sansa, and you damn well know it." she yelled.

"Stand down soldier." The General snapped with authority, 'You're out of line."

"You can't give me orders." Ashley said as her knuckles turned white as she clutched the desk tighter. "My enlistment ended some three years ago." she leaned forward some more and growled, "I no longer take orders from you or the military." she turned her head and glared at the Prince and then back to the General, "You both owe me an explanation."

The General stood to his full height which was a good head and a half over Ashley, and his steel grey eyes zeroed onto her without blinking.

"Here's the way it is," he said with absolute calmness one hand poised over the button on his intercom. "You can either sit down and talk about this quietly, or I'll have you escorted to the brig. Which is it going to be?"

Ashley struggled to reign in her temper. Her entire world had been thrown for a whirl. Taking a deep breath she released the desk and stumbled backwards until her knees hit the chair and she fell into the chair.

The General resumed his seat, but he was still stiff. He eyed Ashley warily, as if expecting her to blow up again.

"When did your memory start to return?" The General asked.

Ashley looked at him like he had lost his mind.

"I mean," the General started, "is, what do you remember?"

Ashley rubbed her head. "Everything came back in a rush, until I saw you I had believed that I was Sansa Alwahle, the personal body guard to Prince Beraka Yama Hasied."

"So, everything came back?" He asked. "All your memories?"

General Parker's tension heightened with his question, and Ashley wondered why her suddenly remembering would affect the commander and put him in a apprehensive state.

The General and the Prince both seemed to lean closer waiting for her answer.

"No sir, not everything. I can't remember the last few days before the bombing."

"Damn!" General Parker exclaimed as he slammed his hand down on the desk making both Ashley and the Prince jump in their seats.

Since her anger didn't get her answers she figured she would try politeness.

"May I use the phone, sir? I have to call my fiancee'."

General Parker shook his head no. "Sorry Davies, you'll have to be debriefed before you can contact anyone."

"But...Spencer..."

"No calls. That's final!"

Ashley slumped forward in her chair. When her memory returned she had thought of Spencer, her eyes as blue as a summer sky. Then she had heard the General and the Prince talking, and she became furious and wanted answers. She had no contact with Spencer before the bomb and she couldn't wait to hear her voice again.

Abandoned by her mother and the death of her father made Ashley feel as if she never truly fit anywhere, that was until she fell in love with Spencer Carlin. Spencer's acceptance of her and all her flaws, Spencer's ability to make her laugh, the dreams and goals they had shared together made her realize that wherever Spencer was, would always be Ashley's home.

"If she's waited these last three years or so." Parker said gruffly, "She can wait a few more hours."

"If..." Ashley said in confusion. "If she waited?" She asked as she glanced sharply at the General. "Doesn't Spencer know I'm alive?"

Parker leaned back in his chair and laced his fingers across his stomach. "You're not going to like what I have to say, but I hope you'll hear what I have to say first, and maybe understand."

"Spencer's okay? Isn't she?" Ashley blurted out.

"As far as we know," Parker said. "but we'll get to her a little later. First, tell me what you remember from before the bombing."

Ashley sat back in her chair and took a deep breath trying to relax. Among her memories was the knowledge the General had his own way of operating, so Ashley figured she would have to allow him to go at his own pace. As much as she wanted to know about Spencer, and to place that call, to hear her voice, to reassure herself that all was well at her home, her heart, she'd have to answer Parker's questions.

Ashley closed her eyes and tried to remember.

"My last memory before the bombing was the day you met with Glen Carlin and me to alert us to a possible attack. You feared an inside job, and you wanted us to identify that person or persons."

"I was right, the attack was an inside job." Parker rubbed his chin. "That meeting was almost ten days before the bombing. That's a huge gap, you don't remember anything after that?"

"My next memories are of the hospital, and doctors, and Prince Yama." As she said that she gestured towards the Prince. "But Glen can tell you everything about those missing days before the attack. You know how closely we worked together."

General Parker grew still and somber, "I'm afraid Glen can't tell us anything."

A feeling of dread came over Ashley. "Why not?"

"Carlin's dead."

Struck with grief Ashley sank deeper into her chair and closed her eyes, but even that couldn't block out the pain. She forced herself to meet Parker's gaze. "Killed in the bombing?" she asked.

Parker shook his head. "No...assassinated."

"What?" The response took Ashley by surprise, and she jerked to an upright position.

Parker rose from his chair, and circled around to the front of his desk and perched on its edge in front of Ashley. "The day of the bombing Carlin was at the market. He called me and told me to clear the building, said he would fill me in later."

The General's expression was grim as he stared out the window that over looked the endless desert. "We began the evacuation immediately, but we didn't have enough time to get everyone out. The bomb blew inside the embassy, it was most definitely an inside job. Those closest to the ambassador's office suffered the highest casualties."

Ashley nodded her head. She couldn't remember the event, but she did read the articles of the explosion after wards. Over a hundred had died that day, and hundreds more had been wounded.

"In the days that followed," Parker said, "I had momentarily forgotten about Carlin, but his body was found two days later by a couple of kids in a deserted alley. He had been shot in the back of the head. The autopsy report stated he had been dead for two days before he was found."

"So, he never had a chance to tell you what he had learned about the terrorists or who was the inside person?" she asked

"No, so you see we were hoping you would remember something no matter how small."

"And I lost my memory and couldn't name the traitor for you either."

The general nodded, "That's why we forged you a new identity as Sansa Aliwahli. The Prince gave you a home and a job as his personal bodyguard in his palace. We wanted to keep you safe until you could remember."

"But that's not right," Ashley barked out. "I've been living openly in Salalah and wandering freely throughout the city ever since my rehabilitation from my injuries. Anyone from the embassy would have recognized me."

General Parker's old eyes filled with sadness. "Have you looked in a mirror since your memories returned?"

Ashley shook her head.

Parker pointed to another door off his office. "You'd better take a look then."

Ashley shoved up out of the chair and entered through the door to discover it was a bathroom. Bracing herself against the sink thinking she would be deformed in some way, she looked up and a complete stranger was staring back at her, well all except the eyes, those were her eyes. She looked closely and discovered that that was all that was familiar, her pert nose was gone, to be replaced by a straight sculpted nose, her cheek bones more pronounced. All in all the face staring back at her was Sansa's Aliwahli's face, the women she thought she was for the last three years.

Shaken she stepped out of the bathroom. "What the hell have you done to me?" she demanded

"Sit down." Parker said as the General returned in full force, with his rough tone filled with compassion. "You've had a shock."

Ashley sank into the chair and ran her hands over her unfamiliar face as if searching for her old one.

"Was this change on purpose?" she asked

"Not exactly."

Ashley raised an eyebrow in question. "What do you mean not exactly?"

The General rubbed a hand over his hair. "Right after the bombing the triage doctors had given you up for dead. That's when the Prince, stepped in and took over."

"Yama? Why?" she asked as she looked at the Prince.

"You saved my life, if you hadn't of rushed me from that office and closed those doors behind us, I would have been killed. You were between me and the blast, your body took the brunt of the explosion, then the ceiling collapsed on top of us, and yet again you saved my life." The Prince put his hand on Ashley's shoulder. "I still owe you so much more."

Here Parker cleared his throat. "Within minutes of the bombing he had his security there and they rushed you and him to the trauma unit at a local hospital. The Prince refused to accept the triage teams assessment of you, and he knew the local hospital would not refuse him. They prepped you and tried to stabilize you and when they got as close to stabilizing you as they could, the Prince flew you, him and his personal physician, in his private jet to the best hospital in this region, where a crack team of emergency doctors finally stabilized you."

"That still doesn't explain my face."

"The force of the explosion smashed your face."

Ashley winced. "I don't recall that hospital."

"You wouldn't, you were in and out of consciousness and pumped full of pain killers. Once your condition improved the Prince had you moved yet again, this time to Switzerland. He hired the best reconstructive surgeons in the world to rebuild your face."

Ashley's frustration flared. "If they were the best, why don't I have my face?"

Prince Yama, replied. "With a few more operations, you can have your old face back."

The General butted back in. "But once we realized your memories were gone, we decided to leave you with a different face, and a new identity, for your own protection. You're probably not aware of it but even your voice is different, caused when your vocal chords were seared by the heat of the blast."

"We, who's we?" Ashley asked.

"The head of our operations at the Pentagon. He wants to nail the traitor and his friends responsible for the bombing. You are our best hope for that." he finished.

"What..." Ashley cleared her throat. "What did you tell Spencer Carlin?"

Reluctant to face her the general walked to the window and clasped his hands behind his back. "We told her you were dead."

"You had no right to do that!" Ashley yelled as she jumped to her feet.

The General spun to face her, his eyes flashing. "If she had not believed you dead, she would have been in danger. The terrorists could have tried to find you through her. Then they could have killed her thinking you had told her something."

Ashley's world broke again. For over three years, Spencer thought her dead. Had she been mourning her this whole time, or was she able to continue on with her life and find another? She could have children...

Her anger flared at the traitor. Losing her identity was one thing, to lose Glen another, but losing Spencer was too high a price to pay.

Parker's expression softened, "I'm sorry, Sansa, telling her you died, was the only way to keep the both of you safe and alive."

"Why do you keep calling me Sansa? My name's Ashley."

"Ashley Davies is a dead woman." he responded.

"But I'm not..." The General's implication finally struck home. "You think they are still looking for me?"

General Parker shook his head. "Ashley Davies death was officially reported. She received honors and a commendation for bravery above and beyond the call of duty, posthumously of course. So there's no reason for anyone to doubt that Ashley Davies is dead...as long as you remain Sansa Aliwahli."

Stunned Ashley said nothing.

"As Sansa Aliwahli, with Ashley Davies memories." General Parker added, "You can be of great service to your country."

"How's that, sir?"

"I've said too much already." General Parker reached for his phone. "I'm booking you a seat on the next transport to the states. There's someone at the Pentagon who wants to talk to you."

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Bradley gazed at the busy intersection in Miami, Florida. The wheels spinning in his brain as he tried to piece together what his informant at the Embassy in Salalah had called to tell him.

Sansa Aliwahli, who worked as Prince Beraka Yama Hasied's bodyguard, but it was rumored they were much more than just employee/employer. She had also been injured in the embassy blast along with the Prince, and he had spared no expense to make sure she survived. Bradley shook his head, why would the Prince waste the money on such a woman when he could have any woman at the snap of his fingers? Why then had she been flown out of the country on a private military transport and headed for Washington, D.C.?

This morning he had gotten a call from his Pentagon informant, Sansa had been taken directly to the Pentagon. Why would they take an interest in Sansa? Was it just a coincidence? Why the sudden rush to get her to the states?"

He didn't have the answers and that put him on edge, and he hated to be on edge.

Odds were that it had nothing to do with locating his terrorists cell, but he couldn't be careless. His attention to the littlest unimportant details had kept him alive so far, and he couldn't be reckless now, not with his plans for the next attack almost ready to be put into action.

He would wait for his informant, then he would learn all he could about Sansa Aliwahli. If she was a threat to him and his cell he would have her eliminated.

He smiled as he thought of this. Death was always the easiest way to tie up loose ends. His smile got turned into a smirk as he hit the gas and squealed the tires as he left the intersection in a cloud of smoke.

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A month after Aiden Dennison's unwelcome visit, Spencer gazed out across her class room. Summer was fast approaching. June, the month her and Ashley were to be married, if she had lived. In the last couple of years summer had been a struggle for her. It always brought back her pain and the loss. Only her adorable little baby girl helped her to survive.

No matter how hared she tried to pick up the pieces and move on she couldn't bring herself to accept Ashley's death. Losing Glen had devastated her and her parents, but at least they had had closure with him. They had found his body.

The first she had heard of the bombing was with the arrival of the Marine officers and a chaplain's arrival on their porch to inform them of the deaths of Glen and Ashley. Maybe if they had found her body...maybe if she could have buried something besides an empty casket...maybe then she could accept it, and move on with her life.

As things stand now, some three years later after Ashley's death she still felt connected to her by some slim indestructible thread that she couldn't let go. Her stubborn heart refused and insisted on waiting for a ghost of a woman that her brain told her would never return. She couldn't move forward until she could free herself from the past, but the past just wouldn't let her go.

"Spencer? Got a minute?"

She glanced up with a start to see Kayla Davies formerly Kayla Woods, standing in front of her desk. "Sure, just give me a second to straighten up."

Kayla Davies came to town to look for a sister that she didn't know she had. It was all the family she had since her mother had died. Her mother's will informed her of her half sister Ashley Davies, and that she had a huge inheritance from a man that she never knew. She arrived not one week after the news of Ashley's death, but she had been a godsend to this small town. Not knowing what to do the town quickly embraced her and made her a part of the community as well as part of the Carlin household.

Spencer had come to depend on the strong independent woman, as a friend and a sister, who's eyes looked so much like looking into Ashley's, Spencer shook her head to clear it.

Smiling eyes looked at her in sadness. "You were lost in thought." Kayla stated.

Spencer stood from her desk, "Yes, end of school burnout. I'm ready for a vacation."

"You and everyone else." Kayla said with a warm grin. "How about we have dinner tonight?" she asked, "We can celebrate the end of another school year." She said with a twinkle in her eyes. "And feed the gossip mill of our undying love for each other."

"Maybe another night, right now I hear a bath tub of hot water calling my name." Spencer said with a smile.

"Okay, no problem." Kayla responded. "Just don't want Aiden Dennison causing you any more problems."

"How did you hear about that?"

"Your mom told me a few weeks back, and I meant to ask you about it but..." she opened her arms.

"Yes, no I understand. The end of the school year." Spencer nodded with understanding. Her mother had been trying to get her and Kayla together, telling her that she didn't want her alone. She had loved Ashley like a daughter but it was time for her to move on.

"Dad put the fear of god into Aiden." she said, "He's nothing but a bully full of hot air."

Kayla shook her head, her eyes worried, "Rumor has it he caused a few fights up in Dallas. He would have been home earlier if he wasn't serving time in prison for a fight over a woman."

"I'll be careful, I promise."

"I just worry."

Spencer heard the warmth and caring in Kayla's voice, and was almost tempted to start something with her, but she didn't love her that way and wasn't sure she ever would.

"You still miss her, don't you?" Kayla asked

Spencer nodded her head as she was too choked up to say anything.

Kayla squeezed her hand gently. "She was your first love, you'll always miss her, but you need to move on, for your sake as well as your daughter's."

"I know," Spencer said as she forced a smile. "I'll see you tomorrow night for graduation."

Kayla squeezed her hand again and left the room.

Spencer was cleaning the top of her desk when she heard foot steps at her class room door, at first she thought it was Kayla again, she turned towards the door but the shape was of another woman slightly taller standing in the doorway. The shape was back lit with light so she couldn't see the person's face. Her pulse quickened in anticipation, she became dizzy with hope. When she finally found her voice she asked, "Ashley? Is that you?"

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**Here it is guys, sorry it's been so long, but I couldn't get the story the way I wanted it, so I had to go back and change part of the last chapter so that it would mesh with this one...hope you enjoy it, please review...**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I don't own SoN or it's characters, nor am I making any money off of this...I read a book called Montana's lost love, and I changed it around to suite my needs, and came out with this. Hopefully you'll enjoy it and continue to read...**

**Disclaimer 2: Thank you for all the reviews and interest in this story...**

**I Won't Give Up ch. 4**

Ashley bit her tongue as her special name for Spencer nearly spilled fourth from her lips.

'Kalila'

She remained quiet and as she did the joy lighting Spencer's face drained to be replaced by disappointment. Relief flooded her, yet still left an ache in her chest, Spencer didn't recognize her. As she saw it, she had no choice. She didn't want any harm to come to Spencer.

Struggling to hide her emotions, she couldn't react, couldn't show how happy she was to see her again, couldn't rush forward into the room and sweep Spencer off her feet and tell her how much she loved her. Tell her how sorry she was for Glen's death, or how concerned she was for her safety.

No, she had to be Sansa Aliwahli, or she would give everything away. One slip on her part could be fatal not only to herself but to Spencer as well, and she would never place Spencer's life in danger.

Drawing on all her military training, she straightened up and tamped down her emotions, struggling to get out, and stepped into the class room.

Confusion replaced disappointment on Spencer's face. Ashley looked at her closely if it was possible Spencer had become more beautiful. Damn it, she should have been her wife. She assumed a detachment she didn't feel and said.

"Miss Carlin?"

Spencer sank into her chair and clasped trembling hands in her lap. "I'm Spencer Carlin." She said shakily. "Forgive me if I'm a bit shaken, I mistook you for someone else." She let out a nervous laugh. "A trick of the light, I guess."

Ashley shoved her hands into her slack pockets to keep from reaching out towards Spencer to comfort her.

"Sorry, I startled you." she said. "I passed the school principal in the hallway, and she told me which room was yours."

Spencer took a deep breath to try and control her emotions, she peered up at the stranger in front of her, and a bloom of pink slowly returned to her face. Curiosity sparked in her eyes.

"Who are you, and why are you looking for me?" she asked

Ashley suppressed a smile. Spencer was so like she remembered, always straight to the point. She never played coy games like some women, and she always cut to the chase and asked straight forward questions.

"I'm Sansa Aliwahli, I just came to the states a few weeks ago from an extended stay in Salalah."

Spencer's face paled again.

"I was good friends with Lt. Cmd. Davies," she rushed to finish, "and Glen."

Spencer narrowed her eyes. "I don't recall either mentioning you."

"They wouldn't of. I was on assignment for the military, working as a bodyguard tot he Prince of Salalah. Since Glen and Ashley were undercover as well..."

"No one was suppose to know that." Spencer's eyes got round with alarm.

"As a member of the intelligence team, we shared information with one another. They kept me in the loop of all the happenings going on at the embassy." \

Spencer's face showed her scepticism.

"I don't expect you to take my word for it." Ashley hurried as she reached into her shirt pocket and pulled out a letter. "Here's a letter from General Parker."

"General?" Spencer took the envelope, "So he was promoted." She stated as she took the letter Ashley offered her. She read the letter then looked back at Ashley. "Looks like you are who you say you are, Ms. Aliwahli."

Ashley flinched at Spencer calling her that, but covered it as she said, "Call me Sansa, please."

At that instant Spencer gazed past her to the doorway, there stood the petite principle, Kyla.

"Everything okay, Spencer?" Kayla asked as she looked from Spencer to Ashley worriedly.

"I'm fine." Spencer said.

"Are you sure?" Kayla asked as she looked at Ashley with distrust.

"Sansa is an old friend of Ashley's." Spencer explained. "She stopped for a visit. It appears Ashley and Glen couldn't stop talking about our small town."

Kayla looked warily at Ashley. "I'll be around if you need me." she said.

Spencer smiled warmily at Kayla, "Thanks for looking out for me, Kayla. I'll talk to you later."

Ashley fought back a pang of jealously, "Good friend?" she asked as Kayla left the room. She tried to stop her anger against a woman she didn't even know, but it was a loosing battle.

Spencer's expression sombered, "The best, I don't know what I would have done without her," here she paused and took a slightly ragged breath. "the last few years..." Spencer straightened up and changed tactics. "You haven't told me why you are here?"

"My handlers decided I needed a little Rand R, and you hit the nail on the head when you said Ashley and Glen spoke of their home as if it was a little slice of heaven, I decided if I had the chance, I would see it for myself."

"So, you're on vacation?"

"A much needed holiday." Ashley said with feeling.

Her trip here was dubbed a vacation, even though she was still on assignment. When she landed on U.S. Soil she was closeted into a room of high ranking military officials poked, prodded, and asked questions over and over, until she snapped, and told them that they couldn't keep her there against her will.

"My enlistments up, and I want to go home to my fiancee'." She demanded.

The man in charge steepled his fingers and leaned back into his chair. "Of the hundred or so people killed in the bombing, a third of them were military, and another third of them were U.S. Citizens."

"I'm aware of that, sir."

"Are you also aware that this same group of terrorists is still active?" He asked as he looked Ashley in the eyes. "Or that they made threats here on U.S. Soil?" he continued.

Ashley shifted uncomfortably in her seat. "No, sir."

"Heavens hand."

"Sir?"

"That's what they call themselves, they are the group that took credit for the bombing." Here he leaned forward and pinned Ashley with his steely eyes. "We need you to remember Lt. Cmd., you are our best hope to take these terrorists down. Since the bombing all of our leads have gone nowhere. We can't seem to get a solid lead on this group no matter what we do, and right now we are no closer to getting them now then we were then. But if you could give us the name of the traitor..." he trailed off as he waited for Ashley.

"I want to remember, I really do." Ashley said.

"I know." said the man.

"Your psychiatric evaluations indicates as much. Your minds not ready to relive the horror of that day, or at east that's what the specialists say."

"They tried hypnosis, it didn't work." she said

"I know," said the man. "Didn't help, it's all in the file." he said this as he patted the file in front of him. "They believe there may be a possible cure."

"Surgery?"Ashley had her fill of hospitals, and didn't like the idea of more surgeries, but if it could get her home to Spencer faster she would jump at the chance.

The man smiled. "The cure that they suggested might not be all that bad, it even might be enjoyable." he said with a smile

Ashley looked at him like he had lost his mind, surgery enjoyable...she crinkled her brow as she looked at him as if asking what in the world are you thinking.

He continued to stare at Ashley a tick before continuing. "They suggest you go home."

Ashley shook her head, surly she didn't hear him right. "Home?" she asked

"Yes home." He smiled at her before continuing, "They feel if you spend a couple of weeks in a familiar and comfortable environment, that it will help unlock your repressed memories..."

Ashley hung her head in defeat, "I have no home to go to, the Corps have been my family since I joined and the Carlin's all believe that I am dead."

The commander shook his head. "We want you to visit the Carlin's. The doctors think visiting your fiancee' and her family ranch is just what you need to jog those memories lose."

Ashley smiled the first true smile she had in a long while. "I wouldn't object to doing that." she said.

"There are conditions." said the commander with a scowl. "You cannot tell anyone that you are Ashley Davies. If anyone asks you are Sansa Aliwahli."

"I can't tell my fiancee' who I am?" Ashley asked as the smile fell from her face.

"Think, damn it, you are an intelligence officer. Use that brain that I know you've got. Those terrorists are fantics, killers willing to kill to keep their secrets. If they even get a hint that Ashley Davies is alive and well," here he paused, and then continued. "...well let's just say they wouldn't even give a second thought, they would track you down and kill you as well as kill the Carlin's."

"Then I shouldn't go there. I don't want to endanger Spencer, or her family." Ashley said.

"We need you there." he said.

"Why?" Ashley asked as her blood ran cold. "You think the terrorists are after the Carlin's?"

The commander shook his head, "No, but we do believe they have information that could help our investigation."

The implication running around in Ashley's head popped out of her mouth before she could sensor it. "Glen would never have broken protocol. He would never have told anyone, including his family

anything that was a military secret."

"Not the Glen you knew," the commander said without malice. "But he did write home and awful lot, maybe just maybe he inadvertently mentioned something in one of his letters, no matter how small."

"Something that wouldn't mean anything to them, but I would understand." Ashley shook her head. "That seems highly unlikely, sir. If he wanted me to know something he would have just told me." Ashley said as she shook her head.

"I know, it's straws, but at the moment it's all we have. We can't let these terrorists succeed yet again."

Reluctantly Ashley agreed with the plan. No matter where her thoughts went they always came back to where her duty lay, bringing the traitor and his terrorists cell to justice, it had now become an obsession with her. She wasn't free to be with Spencer yet. When this was all said and done and she was free to do as she pleased, she would return to Spencer as the Ashley she remembered.

The commander had made a background cover for Sansa Aliwahli, and within a few days she was on another transport on her way home. As soon as she made it home she went looking for Spencer and now here she was. Even now she found it hard to believe that Spencer was standing in front of her, within arms reach, all she would have to do is reach out and hug her, but she couldn't, not just yet.

"Where are you staying?" Spencer asked

Ashley shrugged. "Don't know yet."

"There's a motel up on the highway, but other then that you'd have to go to the next town."

Ashley nodded her head. "Do you know where I could rent a car?" Unless the place had changed a lot since she had been gone she knew there wasn't a place anywhere close.

"Not here," Spencer said. "Look, I know my parents would love to talk to you. Why don't you come home with me, have dinner with us and spend the night? We can get you settled tomorrow as well as a vehicle."

"I don't want to impose." Ashley said.

"You won't be imposing. My parents would love to hear stories about Glen and Ashley." Spencer said as she reached forward and patted Ashley's hand as she smiled at her.

Ashley smiled back and shook her head yes and then turned and followed her out of the class room. She didn't realize getting an invitation to the Carlin family ranch was going to be so easy, yet also one of the hardest things she ever done in her whole life all rolled into one...

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**There you go the next part, hope it was worth the wait. Let me know how you like it...I've got the next part written just have to type it onto the computer...**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I don't own the character on SoN nor am I making any money off of them. So please enjoy the story.**

**I Won't Give Up ch.5**

Spencer was glad her back was to Sansa as she locked her classroom door. It gave her a chance to try and steady her nerves as well as her hands, as she was still shaken from Sansa's appearance at her door. She was surprised she didn't faint from the shock, because just for a second she could have sworn it was Ashley back from the dead, even though the dreadful reality of Ashley's death contradicted her. She was still daring to hope that Ashley would one day return to her.

When Sansa had stepped into her class room she'd immediately realized her mistake. Her grief had made her see what her heart had wanted most in the world, not what her head knew to be true, that Ashley was dead.

Sansa was the same height and weight Ashley was, but that was were the similarities ended. Sansa's cheekbones were higher and more pronounced, her nose was straight where Ashley's was pert and cute as a button. This stranger was nothing like Ashley. Her voice was even more raspier then Ashley's if that was even possible, Spencer missed Ashley's voice as she would nibble on her ear and whisper sweet nothings to her, or hold her tight and tell her how much she loved her. This stranger who was before her was that a stranger...all except the eyes.

Spencer was stunned by the cruel fates that had placed Ashley's beautiful hazel eyes in another woman's face. Spencer had barely been able to look her in the face, even her long lashes and the searing intensity of her gaze were the same as Ashley's. Spencer kept chastising herself for foolishly believing that Ashley had been resurrected, she was so shocked that she barely registered Sansa's introduction. Only Kyla's appearance at her classroom door had rooted her in reality again, but that was short lived. Spencer tried to ger her nerves and breathing under control.

She shook her head, she was looking forward to hear Sansa's stories of Glen and Ashley. Any information she could get about Ashley's last days she could treasure for the rest of her life, but she was also surprised to find out she was actually looking forward to finding out more about Sansa as well. Perhaps it was her slight resemblance to the woman that she loved, that created the electricity between them she that she couldn't deny.

For the first time since Ashley's death, she was experiencing interest in another woman. She was close friends with Kyla and she loved her dearly, and her company was pleasant to say the least, but that was all they would ever be friends, not because she didn't love her but because that was how it was. Paula even tried to get in on it and push the two together, but no matter how much she pushed it, Kyla and her agreed it wasn't going to happen, they were more like sisters then anything else. Spencer never wondered what her lips tasted like or how her arms would feel wrapped around her, and neither did Kyla.

Sansa's sudden appearance must have scrambled her brains, because that was what was going thru her mind at that moment, about a complete stranger, how she would taste and how it would feel to be held in her arms.

She took a deep breath and promised herself she'd be fine as long as she avoided those soulful eyes so like Ashley's...

And their daughter's.

She shook her head again trying to settle her fluttery feeling to Sansa's arrival had triggered. The only other time she had been so attracted to anyone like this in her life was her immediate attraction to Ashley. She didn't think lightning would strike twice in her lifetime. She would have to reign in her attraction or she would make a fool of her self over some stranger, she couldn't believe how her body was betraying her.

Unaware of the turmoil she'd generated in Spencer, Ashley leaned down beside the door and lifted her duffel bag form where she had left it, and gave Spencer a great view of one of her assetts.

"Is that your luggage?" Spencer squeaked out.

Ashley smirked to herself at the squeak and then turned towards Spencer and said. "I travel light."

Spencer looked at the clothes Sansa was wearing, beige slacks, light cotton shirt, and a windbreaker. _'What more could she have in that bag?' _Spencer thought to herself and then she asked. "Did you bring any jeans or boots?"

"Um, no..." Ashley could have kicked herself. She was in such a hurry to get back to Spencer that she didn't pack correctly.

"It's dust and dirt, and jeans are just sturdier." Spencer said as Ashley fell in step with her.

Spencer was babbling but she couldn't help it. Her awareness of this beautiful woman besides her affected her brain.

"Is there a place close by that we could stop?" Sansa asked.

"Wal-Mart...or we could got down to the fees store, they have better boots." Spencer explained. "I have to stop there anyways and get some feed."

"I'm just a city girl, maybe you'll help me pick something out. If it's not to much trouble." Ashley said as she opened the door for Spencer to walk thru.

"Not a problem," Spencer lied as they crossed the parking lot to her pick up truck. "I used to shop for Ashley and Glen all the time."\\

Spencer was sweating, that was the last thing she needed to do, see this complete stranger trying on tight fitting jeans, not with the way her hormones are acting. '_Maybe I could just point her in the right driection, after all it is a small store.' _She thought to herself. "Throw your bag in the back." She said distractedly.

In a few minutes they were driving to the feed store. It was a short drive down a small town strip. Spencer wasn't concentrating on the drive, all she seemed to be able to think about was the woman beside her. She was no hormone driven teenager, but a strong twenty something professional woman who managed daily crises in her day to day teaching profession, and a mother of a very active 3 yr. Old, surly she could handle one beautiful sexy stranger without acting like a fool. She tightened her hands on the wheel and ordered herself to get a grip.

"Not exactly the big city." she said as she parked the truck in the nearest lot.

"I like it." Ashley said as she looked up and down the street.

Spencer slid from the truck and said, "Follow me." as she got down and walked over to the glass doors of the feed store and held them open as Ashley looked around. "I bet you grew up in a big city, didn't you?"

"Los Angelas, actually." Ashley said without looking at Spencer. "My parents were professors there at one of the Colleges."

Spencer could tell that she was stepping into a forbidden area with her question so she decided to change the subject a little. "Ever ridden a horse?" she asked.

"Not until I went to Sahalal, the Prince had a stable full of Arabians, and he expected me to ride with him, so I had to learn fast." Ashley said as she tried not to look at Spencer, after all it was her brother who had taught her to ride in the first place, and she was just as surprised as the Prince was to find out she knew how to ride, when the stable hand had given her an unruly horse because she had refused to go on a date with him, and she stayed on him till he settled down. Needless to say he didn't stay a stable hand long and not other stables would hire him after the prince was thru with him.

Spencer stopped her head from showing her images of Sansa on horseback with her blowing locks trailing behind her.

"It's good you learned. Dad will enjoy showing you the ranch on horseback, and you will need jeans for that, and some descent boots as well." She said as she walked to the counter and placed her feed order and told the clerk her truck was parked out front in the lot. Then she led Ashley towards the boots and clothes in the back of the store. She couldn't keep her head in what she was doing. She couldn't keep her eyes from wondering up and down Sansa's strong lean body. She had to do something before she said or did something she couldn't take back. That was when Sansa looked up and their eyes locked.

"I need to go across the street for a few minutes, I'll leave you in good hands with the owner." She said as an older gentleman came back towards them. "This is Mr Galloway, he knows everything there is to know about boots." she said as she started making her way towards the exit. "I'll meet you by the truck when your done." She had to get space between them so she could breath and get her head on straight.

Spencer made it out the door before a voice stopped her on the sidewalk. "Got a new girlfriend?" It was Eula Galloway, Mr. Galloway's daughter. "Saw you pull up earlier." she finished.

"No..." Spencer said a little to quickly. "She's an old friend of Glen's and Ashley's, and I'm taking her to talk to dad and mom."

"Glad to hear it honey. Wouldn't want to make Kyla jealous would you?"

"Why would she be jealous?" Spencer asked with innocence, even though she knew half the town thought they dated already.

"My thoughts exactly." Eula said shaking her head. "Why waste a sure thing on a passerby."

Spencer shook her head and headed across the street ignoring Eula's comment. She had to grab a few things from the grocery store and decided she wanted to make a pecan pie for dessert.

_'Ashley's favorite, even if all she ever ate was the insides.' _She thought to herself with a smile, but then a look of complete sadness came across her face and it stopped her in her tracks and she wondered if she would ever reach a time when unexpected memories of Ashley would stop hurting so much.

She checked out and headed back across the street towards the truck and Ashley was leaning against it waiting on her. "You look like one of the locals now." she said as she looked Ashley up and down.

Ashley shoved the brim of her hat back with an index finger and caught her head on with those piercing eyes. "Should I take that as a compliment?" she asked with a twinkle in her eye.

"Absolutely, nothing worse then a city slicker that sticks out like a sore thumb." Spencer said with a smile.

Ashley's lips curved into a smile as her dimples showed thru. "So I fit in then?" she asked

Sansa Aliwahli looked even more appealing in her western wear then she had when Spencer had first met her..

"The new jeans are a bit stiff," Ashley said as she bent her knees. "and the shirt is creased where it was folded, and the boots need some breaking in." she said as she stretched her arms out and turned around. "I think I could get use to dressing this way." she said.

"What did you wear when you worked with the Prince?" Spencer asked as she rushed around to the driver side of the truck and climbed int. She was picturing flowing robes and sun kisssed skin on display for all to see.

Ashley climbed in the passenger side of the truck and then said. "Armani suits, the Prince had an image to uphold and expected his staff to uphold it as well." she said.

"Even on horseback?" Spencer asked.

"Yes, even on horseback." Ashley said.

"I imagine living in a palace must have been very nice, especially with all the luxury." Spencer said wistfully.

"I'd trade it all for a home any day of the week." Ashley said with such longing that it was unmistakeable to Spencer, who felt for her.

Spencer couldn't help but to compare Sansa to Ashley, she had lost both of her parents, and joined the Marine corps...just like Ashley.

But her thoughts quickly changed into happiness, as she was approaching a small diner.

Ashley read the sign and it said 'Paula's Fine Dining', they parked right in front.

"I hope you don't mind," Spencer said, "but I have one last stop to make before we head out to the ranch."

"Mind?" Ashley shook her head. "It's your truck, I'm just along for the ride."

"It won't take long." Spencer promised.

Ashley noticed Spencer barely had time to turn the truck off when Paula came thru the front door to the diner with a little girl on her hip squirming to get down.

Spencer's smile just about split her face when Paula set the little girl down and she ran down the walkway towards them on her little legs, still pudgy with baby fat, pumping hard, her reddish brown curls bouncing and her hazel eye shining. "Mommy, mommy..." the little girl squealed.

"Who's that?" Ashley asked in a strangled voice."

"That's Alexis, but she prefers Alex for short." Spencer said with such pride. "My little girl, and of course that's Paula, my mother and owner of this fine establishment." she said

"I...I...didn't know," Ashley said in the same strange voice.

Spencer's joy at seeing her baby was tempered with sadness as she said, "One of my biggest regrets is that Ashley never knew she had a daughter."

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**There it is, wanted to get it out to you so if you like it let me know. Didn't have anyone to proof read it so all mistakes are mine. Please Review**


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of SoN, nor am I making any money off of them. This is just for my enjoyment, and hopefully yours as well. **

**I Won't Give Up ch.6**

_'She had a daughter!'_

Ashley couldn't remember the bomb that had almost killed her, but she doubted that it's impact had been greater then the news she had just received had been.

_'I'm a mother.' _she thought, Spencer Carlin, had her child. Ashley was stunned, but also filled with such joy, surprise, and pride at the thought of a pregnant Spencer. She couldn't move or breath. She was glad Spencer had rushed from the truck to greet the little girl. Her departure had given her a little time to pull her self together.

_'You have to think like Sansa Aliwahli, damn you, or you'll ruin everything!'_

Taking a deep breath to settle her nerves she tried to think like Sansa.

_'What would be her reaction be to Spencer's little announcement? Interest? Maybe a touch of sadness for Ashley's loss?'_

She looked at her hands.

_'Sansa's hands wouldn't be shaking like leaves in a brisk breeze.'_

Of that she was certain.

Unaware of the chaos she had just left in the truck, Spencer turned towards the truck and started back with her daugher and her mom on her heels.

_'Her Daughter'_

Damn, she couldn't keep the tears from her eyes.

Hot anger flooded her so quickly that it dried up her tears, and she cursed the fate that had kept her from the woman she loved more then life itself and her daughter she hadn't even known existed. But, keeping her secret was now more important then ever. Now not only was she keeping the Carlins form grave danger, but now Alexis life would be protected as well.

Her family was safe, only so long as everyone believed Ashley Marie Davies was a dead woman.

Pulling herself together, she watched Spencer and the little girl, _'Her little girl'_ approach the truck, just a chattering at her mother. She had such an animated look on her face and Ashley couldn't take her eyes off her daughter. Her image now forever burned into her memory for all of time. Her cheeks round and flushed with excitement at seeing her mother. Her eyes, they were her eyes, she realized with a start, and she had the same dimples that had once graced her cheeks as well. Even her hair was the same shade and texture as hers had been when she was a child.

A dangerous lump formed in her throat. How the hell was she suppose to act like a stranger would act when the first sight of her daughter choked her up so badly that she couldn't draw a breath to speak?

Spencer came to the passenger side of the truck up to Ashley's window and lifted the little girl up.

"Alex, this is Ms. Sansa." Spencer introduced her.

The baby girl hid her face in her mother's neck, then peeked out at her with one eye. Having her own eyes stare at her from a child's face was a disconcerting feeling for Ashley. That little heart shaped face under her baby fat, proof that she inherited her mother's beautiful bone structure. She was even more adorable close up then from a distance, and her arms ached to reach out and hold her.

Ashley struggled to swallow, but it wasn't easy as all the moisture in her mouth had dried up like the Sahara desert.

"Hi, Alex." she said

"Can you say hello?" Spencer asked. "Ms. Sansa's going to come home with us tonight."

Little Alex turned her head just enough to expose her other eye and then asked. "Are you like mommy?"

"Ummm," Ashley chuckled, that little minx was batting her eyelashes, and flirting with her!

"What are you?" Alex demanded in her little child's voice

_'I'm your mother.'_ Ashley wanted to shout out for all the world to hear, but instead she said, "A Marine."

Alex lifted her little head and gazed out at Ashley with new interest. "Like my momma, and Uncle Glen?" she asked

Spencer smiled watching the interchange between the two, she didn't know why but she really wanted Alex to like Sansa. It always amazed her as well as strangers at how smart Alex was and that she was only 3 years of age.

"That's right." Ashley said with a smile on her face, Spencer had informed her daughter who she was, and it warmed her to her core.

"Uh-uh..." Alex shook her little head no, "...wrong clothes."

Spencer stepped in at that moment at the confused look on Sansa's face. "She's used to seeing the pictures of Ashley and Glen in uniform." she explained

"I have a uniform, but these are my play clothes." Ashley said.

"Big people don't play." Alex insisted shaking her little head with her ringlets bouncing around her face

"Sure they do." Ashley said as she continued to melt into a blob of goo, that this little girl, her little girl, could wrap around her pudgy little finger.

"You's going to come and play at my house?" Alex asked with an arched eyebrow that reminded Ashley of herself so much she didn't have a come back...

"Enough questions, young lady." Spencer said as she opened the back door and buckled Alex in her car seat. "Do you want your teddy bear?" she asked.

"Yes, momma. Please."

It was all Ashley could do, not to turn around and stare at her little girl. Spencer climbed into the drivers seat and said. "She usually takes a nap on the way home."

"Is it far?" Ashley knew the answer, but she didn't want Spencer to know that.

"Forty miles, give or take," Spencer said, "but that's not considered far by Texas standards." she rushed to finish as she smiled at Sansa.

At that smile Ashley's stomach went all a flutter with remembered passion between the two.

Ashley rode in silence for several miles on the pretense of admiring the scenery which consisted of fleeting glances towards Spencer admiring her beauty, but her mind kept asking questions like, why didn't Spencer tell her she was pregnant.

"Ashley never knew you were expecting, did she?" she asked at the risk of being all nosy.

Without taking her eyes from the road, Spencer shook her head. "I didn't know myself until a few days after the bombing."

With such vividness she recalled going to the in vitro place, holding Spencer's hand and cooing sweet nothings in her ear as she was I inseminated with her egg. Then she remembered taking her home, and running after her and making love with her, with such clarity. She recalled the feel of her silkiness of her skin beneath her fingers, her weight against her. She could hear the beating of her heart beneath her cheek and the soft, sweet intake of her breath when she gasped with pleasure...

"I was so excited when I fount out, that I momentarily forgot that Ashley was dead..." she said with such sadness and cleared her throat... "I composed a letter to Ashley before I..."

"That must have been really tough on you..." Ashley said as calmly as she could.

Spencer's face soft with love, as she glanced at Alex in the rear view mirror. "Knowing I was pregnant with Ashley's child kept me going. At least I had some part of her left. She saved my parent's lives as well. They took Glen's death hard, but having a grand daughter to dolt on helped.

"She's beautiful." Ashley hoped Spencer would mistake the pride in her voice for admiration. "Seems quite smart as well."

"Luckily, she takes after Ashley for her looks and brains."

"From what Ashley told me, you're no slouch in the brains department, and Alex has your bone structure."

"Ashley talked about me?" Spencer seemed pleased.

"Not much."

"Oh..." Spencer's voice rang with dissappointment.

Ashley hurried on, "She didn't like how some of the guys would talk about their sex lives, and how it degraded women. When Ashley spoke of you it was with the utmost respect and love."

Spencer blushed a vivid red. "What did she say?"

"That she was lucky to be engaged to the prettiest,smartest, most fun to be with woman she'd ever met." Ashley welcomed the normal huskiness in her voice, otherwise Spencer might have sensed the heartfelt tenderness in her tone.

Spencer's eyes filled with tears. "I was the lucky one, until the bombing."

"Look Out!" Ashley shouted as a battered pick up truck came barreling out of a drive way ahead of them and came towards them in their lane Spencer barely managed to jerk her vehicle to the side of the road to avoid a head on collision.

"It's a good thing you have such quick reflexes." Ashley said as she took a moment to settle her nerves. "Who was that?" she asked

"That idiot is Aiden Dennison, and I wonder what the hell he was doing out here?" Spencer mumbled the last part to herself as she looked in the rear view mirror to her daughter who managed to sleep thru all the ruckus.

"Are you okay?" asked Ashley as she noticed Spencer's knuckles had turned white on the steering wheel and she was clenching her teeth together as she looked out the front window of the truck.

Spencer nodded her head and stretched her fingers out. She was obviously still shaken by the whole experience, but she kept her eyes on the road as she pulled back onto the road and turned into the driveway that Aiden had come out of.

The silence gave Ashley a second to think to herself. She was about to see Mr. C, who had the uncanny knack to see thru anyone's bullshit. He could read between the lines and decipher what wasn't said verses what was said. All he had to do was look at you with his sharp blue eyes and he could read you like a book. Ashley would have to watch what she said and how she acted around him. In other words she needed to treat him like a complete stranger.

Who was she kidding, he'd see right thru her and she knew it.

Spencer rounded the last curve and Ashley braced for her view of home in four years.

What she saw was an old white headed man stooped over at the driveway nailing something up against the fence post, it was a no trespassing sign. As the truck approached him he stopped nailing and looked up at them and waved at Spencer. Ashley was in shock because she couldn't mistake the blue of his eyes as anyone other then Arthur Carlin.

"That's daddy." Spencer said as she jumped out of the truck and shouted, "What are you doing?"

"Your a smart girl, I'm sure you'll figure it all out." he said as he turned to finish with the sign.

"I know what the sign says, what I don't understand is why. We've never posted before."

"Aiden Dennison was here today." He said thru clenched teeth.

Ashley could hear all that was being said between the two but didn't want to appear to be eaves dropping on them, so she looked around the ranch to what she could see, but what she was doing was remembering the trouble maker known as Aiden Dennison. How he always bothered Spencer, and the things he would say. Ashley shook her head she hadn't been here to prevent that snake from bothering her family, she hadn't been here when Spencer needed her the most, to help raise their daughter together.

"I saw Aiden," Spencer said. "he almost ran us off the road. What did he want now?" she asked

"You." Arthur swung the hammer with fury and tackled the nail with it. "He wanted to wait till you got home, said he wasn't afraid of my shot gun...Said he figured I was too law abiding to actually use it on him."

"Then why did he leave?" she asked

"Told him that he was completely right, and that that was very true, that's why people would believe me when I said my gun went off accidentally and shattered his kneecap." Arthur finished as he swung the hammer one more time. "Aiden fell all over himself trying to get out of here when I cocked the shot gun and pointed it at him. He never even looked back."

Ashley snickered to herself. Arthur may look old but his spirit was still in tact.

"If Aiden's gone why post the sign?" Spencer asked.

"So when he does come back I can have him arrested for trespassing. Then maybe that snot nosed little punk will leave us alone." He replied as he looked towards the truck again and his eyes locked onto Ashley's. "Who's that?"

"Company, I'll introduce you up at the house." she said

Kissing Arthur's leathered cheek Spencer climbed back into the truck.

"Trouble?" Ashley asked.

Spencer shook her head. "Nothing my dad can't handle." she said with pride. Spencer parked the truck and climbed out.

Ashley had moisture in her eyes, she was home and it looked like she remembered. Nothing had changed, flowers lined the porch on either side, the swing was still on the end of the porch. It looked just like it had four years ago when she was last here.

"You okay?" Spencer asked with concern.

For a moment Ashley couldn't speak, and when she did her voice trembled with emotion. "I was thinking of Ashley and Glen and how they would never see their home again." she cleared her throat and continued. "It's no wonder they loved this place so much, it looks like a piece of Heaven on earth, just like they said it did."

Spencer sighed, "It will never be the same without those two."

Ashley climbed out of the truck and got all the bags out of the truck while Spencer picked up little Alex out of her car seat and hugged her to her on her shoulder. "I'm going to take her up and let her finish her nap. Why don't you make yourself comfortable until I get back." She said as she went into the house with Ashley following her from behind.

"Want me to carry her for you?" she asked as she came into the house behind Spencer. She wanted to feel her daughter in her arms.

Spencer shook her head. "She's not heavy, and I won't be that long. Dad will be right behind us."

Ashley watched as Spencer went up the stairs, she placed her bags by the door and made her way into the living room. Nothing had changed, except for a small table under the front window, that was new. She made her way over to it, and found it had framed pictures of her and Glen in dress uniforms, flanked by vases of fresh flowers.

_'Like a shrine.' _she thought.

With Glen's death still fresh in her mind and hurting, Ashley studied his picture. "I miss you, cowboy." she murmured, "You should be here. It's not right without you."

She swiveled when she heard footsteps behind her. "Alex must have been exhausted, she didn't even wake up when I changed her clothes, and laid her down."

Ashley turned to face Spencer, and that was when Arthur entered the living room. "So Spencer, who's this visitor you wanted to introduce me to?"

"Sansa Aliwhali." Ashley said as she extended her hand, just wanting to give Arthur a big ol' bear hug.

"She was a friend of Ashley's and Glen's." Spencer tried to explain.

Arthur didn't except Ashley's hand, instead he narrowed his sharp blue eyes and scrutinized Ashley within an inch of her life.

"Glen never spoke of you," Arthur said in a voice heavy with suspicion. "Ashley either for that matter."

"Sansa was undercover," Spencer rushed to explain. "She has a letter of introduction from General Arnott at the embassy..."

"Letters can be forged," Arthur said with a shake of his head, not taking his eyes off of Ashley.

"Daddy!" Spencer said exasperated.

Ashley shrugged, but her brain was running a mile a minute.

Arthur's instincts were never wrong, although he hadn't recognized her, he picked up that something wasn't quite right.

Ashley hated lying, but the lives of her family depended on her being a good liar.

"Why would I want to forge a letter and come down here to see a completely strange place, Mr. Carlin? To visit people I have never met before or even heard of?" she asked trying to throw him off.

"Why have you shown up here some four years later after Glen and Ashley died without us ever having heard of you?" Arthur asked. "Your name wasn't even among the letter of condolences from their fellow soldiers."

"No sir, for the first year after they died, I was hospitalized, recovering from injuries I sustained in the bombing."

Spencer gasped, "You were there?" she asked

Ashley nodded, "Guarding the Prince." she said

"Then you saw Ashley when the embassy..." she shook her head and held up her hands. "No, don't tell me, it's better I don't know."

"She died instantly," Ashley lied, her voice soft and consoling. "she didn't suffer." and in a way she was telling the truth, after all she wasn't Ashley when she woke up, she was Sansa Aliwhali, so in a way she was telling the truth.

Her face pale Spencer sat in the nearest chair. "You saw..." she cleared her throat. "...her die?"

"Yes." Ashley hated the pain she was causing Spencer, but it couldn't be helped.

Tears filled Spencer's eyes and ran down her cheeks. "I'd always hoped..."

"Hoped what?" Ashley asked as she came closer to Spencer wanting to take her in her arms and kiss her tears away.

Spencer lifted her head and looked right at Ashley.

"They never found her body, I've always hoped there was a mistake, that someday Ashley would come home."

"I'm sorry." Ashley said aching to take her pain away.

Arthur interrupted her musings, "So, why are you here?"

"Your daughter invited me, but if you have a problem I can always head back into town." Ashley said

"But you don't have a car, and it's almost forty miles. "Spencer obfected.

Ashley faced Arthur. "Forty miles is no obstacle to a Marine."

The faintest tick of a smile played across Arthur's face. "To a Marine in new boots that aren't broken in yet, it could be one hell of a trek. Sit down girl, and I'll pour us a drink."

Ashley sat, but she knew Arthur well enough to realize that his suspicions had yet to be lain to rest...

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**There's the next chapter, please review...**


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